Hartford Blight

WFSB’s Dennis House did an interesting interview with Mayor Eddie Perez last Sunday, March 2, on urban blight in Hartford. I like House. He lives downtown (or used to), married well, and genuinely seems to care about Hartford while he waits to get a gig in a bigger market.

Eddie told House that he had City Council approval to take $50M of “his” capital fund (money, he said, that was normally used for schools and libraries) and reallocate it towards resolving blight in three target areas downtown and one in each of the Franklin Avenue, North Hartford and Frog Hollow neighborhoods. Through use of eminent domain and his war chest, he predicted he’d be able to wrestle under used property from negligent owners and hand them over to developers.

House and Eddie then reviewed plans for dilapidated and empty property (including major parking lots) in the downtown area.

Here are some of the interview highlights, but go watch the full thing since I had to set my universal translator to “WHAT-THE-HELL-IS-HE-MUMBLING” in order to understand Eddie.

Capitol West BuildingPerez says that the building’s owner is very cooperative and even replaced the broken windows. He wants “worker’s housing” owing to the “pent up demand for entry level worker housing in downtown near the insurance companies and union station.” It looks like Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace Hospital.

111 Pearl StreetIt’s been empty for 20 years, but a local firm was selected to develop. Perez would like to see a mixture of retail and housing (he didn’t sound too sure about what the plan was) and expects it to move forward in 6-8 months. I’m thinking Barney’s Warehouse or a (Way) Off-Saks outlet.

Maharishi Hotel on Constitution PlazaI always liken Constitution Plaza to the one-day movie set for Logan’s Run 2: Get Out of Town Before the Crystal in Your Hand Starts Blinking. Think about the big boom it would add to the downtown economy. Anyway, this is one of Perez’s target areas. He will retake it by the Force of Eminent Domain (FoED) if it comes to that. Which would be cool to watch.

410 Asylum StreetThis is where I like to go when I’m lonely to party with pretend friends. Kind of like that scene in Home Alone, but more A-lonlier. Perez wants affordable housing. State’s on board. Should move forward next year.

Main/Trumbull StreetPerez said former councilman Bob Painter coined the “Butt Ugly Building” moniker for the site. Scary Bunny #4 says the GHAC’s Ken Kahn said it first. Either way, Perez will use his FoED to retake the land after highly paid advisers figure out what to do with it.

Former YMCALuxury condos next year, bitches.

Asylum & Main Parking Lot“It is providing parking downtown, which is very much needed.”

Lo-Res Fest

This just in from the Capitol Cinema Collective:

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that the Final Version of the Lo-Res Fest will be screened this week at the Charter Oak Cultural Center, Wednesday September 13th at 7pm, followed by a discussion about the event and the upcoming Hartford International Film Fest in November 9th though the 12th. Attached is one of my favorite shots from the film, which just happens to coincidentally be from your entry.”

We are handsome bastards, aren’t we?

Jerry Excelsior

Courtesy of Scary Bunny #14:

If you don’t know who Jerry Excelsior–Hartford’s own ding dong salesman–is, you’re the only one in town.

Watch him sell his recent Hartford Advocate cover story, The Next Internet Superstar.

Be his customer on MySpace.

Marvel at his raging back hair.

The Real World

Wow, either the real world really does suck or this chick is well on her way to superstar status in the Reality TV Hall of Fame.

‘Real World’ Cast Member Charged With Assault

“CROMWELL, Conn. — A Connecticut cast member on the MTV reality show “The Real World” was arraigned on a misdemeanor assault charge Monday, accused by police of biting her boyfriend during a domestic dispute.Paula Ann Meronek, 25, bit her boyfriend several times when he refused to let her into their home at about 3 a.m. Sunday, police said.”

We expect great things from her in the future, like a guest spot on The Surreal Life or a misdemeanor or two for public drunkenness at a Denny’s.

Bonus Insanity Points added for her near-miss resemblance to Tonya Harding at her peak.

You and Your Third Dimension

We were kind of looking forward to discovering all the billboards in the near area for the Cartoon Network’s new oddball advertising campaign ourselves, after reading about them in the upfront (and not online) section of the Hartford Advocate last week. We even spotted “Look! I Have a Meat Beard” on I-84W between Hartford & West Hartford over the weekend.

And then Hartford Courant television critic Roger Catlin has to go and decipher every single one of them.

“As a lover of the surreal and the absurd in the everyday, it’s been a pleasure to see those weird red billboards here and there, saying nothing more than oddball things such as, ….

[We won't spoil it for you--click the link if you want all the fun immediately sucked out of the whole thing.]