Dressing the Old Girl Up

We caught a few songs performed by the Glamour Girls at Hartford’s Old State House during lunch today.

The crowd loved them. We loved their sparkly dresses and go-go boots.

Snapple Gets You High

Red Bull may give you wings, but Snapple gets you high.

We just walked past the Old State House in downtown Hartford where Snapple is giving free hot air balloon rides today to anyone willing to sign a release form. It’s a promotion for their new line of white teas, although we didn’t see anyone giving out free Snapples, dammit.

CT Pride Festival 2006

We just spotted these at the Shell Station on Capitol Avenue (a.k.a. “The Murder Mart”) yesterday morning, and they mentally jarred us into checking up on the CT Pride Festival 2006.

Yes, rumors are true–thank god–it’s being moved from Bushnell Park to the heart of Hartford’s Main Street, from City Hall to the Old State House.

Every city in the world seems to celebrate Pride in late June, but Hartford’s party is always held in the fall. This year it takes place on September 9.

Which is fine with us–September may be much less sweaty on the asphalt than late June was anyway.

The Bionic Man

We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was before.

Better. Stronger. Faster.

We’ve seen this guy from the Hartford Parking Authority zipping around downtown Hartford all morning on his segway, delivering tickets at expired parking meters along his merry route. We finally caught up with him outside of Starbuck’s on Trumbull, and he didn’t seem too happy about the photo. We promise a better picture or a video soon–it’s really a sight to behold.

Seg-YAY!

In case you didn’t get the memo about not messing with the Hartford Parking Authority…

From today’s Town by Town news on WFSB:

SoD’oh!

Cate’s Corner Bistro…we hardly knew ye! Just mere moments after we began the Cate’s Corner Bistro Death Watch, CCB has passed. You can taste the saline in our tears…or was that their pasta primavera?

Cate left town a few months back, handing over ownership to her partners who had designs to turn the place around. Their lunch was brisk, but their dinner was deadly. Waiters breathed over you like a puppy begging for affection. SoDo residents desperate for a place to eat that didn’t break the bank like Peppercorn’s held their noses as they struggled down the night’s special. Mountains of paper fliers cut by kindergartners exclaimed that happy hour was indeed HAPPY!

Our thoughts now turn to the Emperor, which sits across the road, like Mordor witnessing the fall of Isengard. It hasn’t even opened yet, but let the Emperor Death Watch begin!

You Must Be My Shooting Star

Madonna’s finally left Hartford in whatever space ship beamed her down into the Civic Center this weekend (although we did kind of suspect that she wasn’t really there and we were just watching a hologram).

Just to wrap it all up, we’re gonna mention Hartford Courant music critic Eric Danton’s bitchy blog entry complaining about the Courant’s star-f**ker mentality which is kind of amusing seeing as he’s being paid to write a bunch of the articles he’s so embarrassed about.

[Dude, it's way too late to act cool...you work for the Courant, bro.]

The show was fun, although not miraculous except for the ungodly heat in the Civic Center, owing to Madonna’s refusal to let air conditioning spoil her vocal cords. Bitch.

And aren’t you kind of sad that she didn’t scream “Hello Hartford” and launch into a custom version of “You Must Be My Shooting Star” for us?

From the Courant, SUV Reported Stolen At Gunpoint:

A Massachusetts man who had just attended the Madonna concert at the Hartford Civic Center Sunday night was hit with a gun and pushed onto the ground by four men who stole his brand new SUV from a downtown parking lot, police said.

Those Magnificent Bastards

Let’s all take some time this afternoon to celebrate the Hartford Parking Authority, one of the city’s most efficient and intrepid departments. You think they’re just standing around the streets chatting with each other? Well, guess again.

Our parking meter on a downtown side street had expired by six minutes, and we found their calling card lovingly nestled under our windshield wipers.

Six minutes. Six minutes…

Six minutes, Doug E. Fresh, they are fucking on.

Those bastions of justice, those magnificent bastards.

Dead Man’s Party

If you hated video for killing the radio star, then meet This Guy–who officially killed the phrase “party like a rock star” at Koji a few weeks ago.

And if you’re still at work on this fine Friday like us, then get your ass to Room 960 after work today for the last Hipster Happy Hour H-ever.

5-7 p.m., 960 Main Street, Hartford.

Tuesdays, Wednesdays

We may actually have to start going to Sweet Jane’s on Pratt Street even though the place reminds us of a depressing mid-west Days Inn hotel bar, and we’ve felt like beaten-down tupperware salesmen on a business trip from hell the few times we’ve been there.

From Local Commotion:

If you feel like rocking out, Andre Balazs (ringleader of the band of vagrants known as Bipolar Jukebox) is starting a new open mic at Sweet Jane’s (88 Pratt St.). He says the audio there is sweeeet. They also plan on incorporating a “featured artist” spot into the set.

That’s on Tuesday nights, and André Balazs is like, the bomb, dude.

And there’s a new retro night there on Wednesdays, The Reflex.