Good Eats

Dispute About Turtle Leads To Arrest.

EAST HARTFORD–Police arrested a woman Wednesday who they said stabbed a man because he wanted to sell a snapping turtle for use as food.Iris Rivera, 31, of 47 Carroll Road, was charged with second-degree assault after the early-morning attack at the man’s Tolland Street home, police said. …

When police questioned the man, Frederick VanAllen of 551 Tolland St., he told them he and Rivera had caught a snapping turtle earlier at Keney Park in Hartford. He told police that he often sells turtles he finds for use as food, police said.

VanAllen told police that Rivera grabbed a steak knife and cut him on his left hand and his stomach. He said he didn’t want to press charges….

We have kind of the same reaction whenever we find a stray kitten… should we sell it, eat it, or hug it?

You Must Be My Shooting Star

Madonna’s finally left Hartford in whatever space ship beamed her down into the Civic Center this weekend (although we did kind of suspect that she wasn’t really there and we were just watching a hologram).

Just to wrap it all up, we’re gonna mention Hartford Courant music critic Eric Danton’s bitchy blog entry complaining about the Courant’s star-f**ker mentality which is kind of amusing seeing as he’s being paid to write a bunch of the articles he’s so embarrassed about.

[Dude, it's way too late to act cool...you work for the Courant, bro.]

The show was fun, although not miraculous except for the ungodly heat in the Civic Center, owing to Madonna’s refusal to let air conditioning spoil her vocal cords. Bitch.

And aren’t you kind of sad that she didn’t scream “Hello Hartford” and launch into a custom version of “You Must Be My Shooting Star” for us?

From the Courant, SUV Reported Stolen At Gunpoint:

A Massachusetts man who had just attended the Madonna concert at the Hartford Civic Center Sunday night was hit with a gun and pushed onto the ground by four men who stole his brand new SUV from a downtown parking lot, police said.

He Said, She Said

It should go something like this:

“But, Eddie, I wanna be in the show!”

“Jo-deee, how many times do I haf to ’splain it to you? You can’t be in the choh!”

“Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!”

From today’s Hartford Courant: Rell, Perez Trade Shots

After 16 people were shot in five days in Hartford, Mayor Eddie A. Perez and Gov. M. Jodi Rell fired accusations at one another Wednesday in a high-profile clash of public letters over how to stop the bloodshed on the city’s streets.Rell claimed Perez had turned away the state’s helping hand. Perez said no such thing was even close to true. As the day continued, much ink was spilled by the two political rivals as each lobbed explosive letters at one another. …

Holding Out for a Hero

What–it is supposed to be just another week in the ‘hood to the rest of us?

From today’s Hartford Courant:

Rash Of Shootings Alarms Hartford Resident“The shootings have Tanya May worried.

“It’s not even summer yet and it’s already started,” May said Saturday, a day after she helped aid victims of a drive-by shooting on Westland Street.

Ten people have been shot in Hartford since Wednesday night.” …

BUZZ, sorry–make that thirteen shootings at last count…

And an armed jewelry heist on Pratt Street.

We hope somebody in charge has already used the top-secret red phone and called Downtown Luxury Condo Man–the only thing this city seems to think is going to save it.

Diving for Donuts

Police Search For Dunkin Donuts Robber

WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — Police are searching for a man who robbed a West Hartford Dunkin Donuts overnight.Police said the man walked up to the drive-through window and dove inside.

It is unclear how much money the man got away with. The police K-9 unit is assisting with the case. Two clerks who were working at the time were not injured.

Hartford Gets Smashed

Who says you need a St. Patrick’s Day parade to get smashed? Erin Go Bash!

We were looking for parking on Whitman Street (between Capitol Avenue and Buckingham) a few hours after the parade on Saturday afternoon in downtown Hartford and noticed that more than a few car windows had been busted up the previous evening. We paused long enough to commiserate with a woman who was trying to sweep shards of glass from her car door, while a guy on the street informed us that a few cars in the church parking lot on Buckingham had been hit as well.

Grand Theft Auto: Thugg City

Well, it’s been one of those dreary weeks that makes us Scary Bunnies just want to cry. Or write miserable posts that would only make us feel worse. Luckily, there are other Bunnies out there to to hand us some tissues via email when we need them most.

Inspired by Scary Bunny #403’s Come to Hartford, I Swear It’s Fun, we received the following from Scary Bunny #44–a beautiful rendition of Hartford at Trumbull Street and Bushnell Park seen through the pixelated lens of Grand Theft Auto. We love it and want more.

Of course, if GTA isn’t your style–there’s always Sim City: West Hartford.

NUTS in the Neighborhood Last Night

We’re starting to love Google chat, especially when it feels like we’re just a bunch of addled Python-esque housewives hanging laundry in our backyards and gossiping with the neighbor next door:

Scary Bunny #33: oooh my god listen to this; well, actually ‘read’ this.

last night i am watching the americans skate around in tights in circles and i fall asleep. i wake up and see my cats looking out the window, i look out and there is a car on my lawn; having driven through the iron fence

apparently there was a ‘drug’ check on the corner of Park and the car blew by it, flew down street and couldn’t make the turn
Scary Bunny #14: Who wrote this?

Scary Bunny #33: so, cops are everywhere, the two people run down the street.

i am telling you this- this is what happened to me last night

i am still sleeping and finally wake up, there is one person handcuffed on a cop car, and cops everywhere and my neighbors on the lawn looking at this car

sooo, i find out the other person ran around the block and STOLE a cop car

it was NUTS in the neighborhood last night.

Scary Bunny #14: I just saw that on WFSB!! Link

Scary Bunny #33: what? really? i saw it out the window.

You’re Not Supposed to Laugh

The Scary Bunnies feel horrible for the woman who tried to help a motorist off an exit ramp on I-84 earlier this week–only to be sexually assaulted in the cab of a truck and tied to a tree as payback for her noble intentions. And we hope authorities catch him soon and practice some good old police brutality before bringing him in.

We are very ashamed of ourselves–but the Hartford Courant’s headline for the story in the paper this morning couldn’t help but provoke all sorts of weird conjectures in our sophmoric little minds:

And the quote from a state trooper didn’t help:

“Without a doubt, this could be classified as a bizarre incident,” said Trooper William Tate, a state police spokesman. “But it is a fluid investigation, and they are making progress.”

Link